Desenrascanço
by RarissimaAvis
Summary: Jack: The pirate that got by eaten by a kraken, and was now stuck in the empty desert of Davy Jones Locker with nothing for company except his ship and a whole crew of himself. Hadria: The witch who pranked Death while he was busy, and was now paying for it by getting sent to a Limbo-like place at the bottom of the ocean. Warnings inside.


**Here we have another side-fic for Danse Macabre, featuring Hadria as per normal, along with her crazier(?) counterpart, the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow.**

 **This is also a belated birthday present for the 300th reviewer, ChizomenoHime.**

 **Hope you'll enjoy it!**

 **Warnings: Fem! MOD! Neutral/Dark! Harry, Time-travelling, Dimension-travelling, AU, Attempted Suicide (by Hadria), Canonical Character Death**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor Pirates of the Caribbean. I am, however, borrowing their playground and there are, in fact, a lot of quotes taken from At World's End.**

 **(Temp) Beta: The wonderful LokidottirBlack who has stepped up to help edit my work while dear Happyfish is taking a break.**

 **Update:** **I realise some of you are not aware of this fact so fyi to everyone following me, I'm on AO3 as well, under the Psued of RareAvian. Thanks to one of my reviewers who pointed that out! It's always nice to know I have readers concerned about other people posting my fics.**

* * *

 _The Prompt by ChizomenoHime: Jack Sparrow wasn't expecting company. Or a stalker._

 _Setting chosen by prompter: Post-Danse-Macabre, starting in Davy Jones' Locker_

 _Additional timeline info: Pre-Sigel (the trip into the BBC Merlin Universe)_

* * *

 **Desenrascanco**

* * *

Waking up in the middle of a desert that seemed to go on forever was not as weird a situation as one might think. Not when one was the infamous _Captain_ Jack Sparrow. Of course, it could all be a very weird dream from having too much rum.

The thing was, he remembered a last-ditch effort at going down fighting. Which really meant that he had his sword drawn when he jumped straight into that stinking hell of a kraken mouth (and it said something when even he found it foul-smelling). He did not remember anything between that and waking up in this place, but that was fine.

After all, it appeared that he still had his beloved Black Pearl with him. Which could only be a good thing… right?

* * *

The sun was hot and bright and prone to conjuring mirages in deserts. Jack didn't think he was hallucinating the ship. It was massive and beautiful, and it felt real.

But it also had his crew on it. And all of them looked like him.

Scratch that, they were all him. They were _all him!_

This Jack was terrible at cleaning the floor, that Jack couldn't ever pull the riggings right, and there was even a Jack that tried to steal the title of Captain from him! When they weren't doing their duties all wrong, they were fooling about and never took anything seriously unless given explicit orders to do so! And even then, he wasn't sure how many of them really listened to what he said.

And they always sprouted back even after they died. Oh, the dead ones remained dead, but another would just replace him. Even after Jack was sure he must have shot at least five of them in the head.

But the ship was probably real, which Jack had started to realize was utterly terrible, because if he was stuck in this godforsaken place, why did his precious ship have to get stuck with him? In a place full of sand, hardly a drop of water, and the worst crew he ever had? What use was a ship that could not sail?

"That, my dear friends, is _my_ elephant."

Jack sighed, and hoped that when he turned around, there wouldn't suddenly be an elephant on board his ship. And if there was, it had better be another hallucination.

* * *

There wasn't an elephant on his ship and there never would be. But one possible morning—it could have been night, actually, considering how the sun never seemed to set—there was a girl. Jack didn't notice her at first, because she blended right in.

He had continued about his business as usual after a nap, only to find that none of his crew were working, as usual. Well, there was a Mr Sparrow watching the horizon with a telescope, but that was about it.

"We're gaining speed," said that Mr Sparrow. Jack couldn't tell, but he didn't really have anything else to do but to play along.

"To stations! All hands to stations!"

The different Jack Sparrows, because he wasn't the only one now, tripped over each other to their respective positions.

"Haul the halyard! Slacken braces!"

There was a chorus of "Aye, captain."

It was almost funny how Jack spotted her.

Her long dark hair was woven into plaits and threaded with beads of unknown material and feathers from unknown birds. Something told Jack they weren't just ordinary beads and feathers coloured differently. (Perhaps it was how some of the beads glinted in the sunlight, shining blue one moment, and green the next. Or the feather with colours that seemed to burn).

But she was dressed like a sailor or a pirate, in a loose shirt that probably used to be white, with a worn old jacket thrown over it, practical linen trousers and sea boots that had seen better days. The only item she wore that wasn't sun-bleached or discoloured was a black cloth tied around her waist, along with multiple leather belts held assorted pouches. It was the blackest cloth Jack had ever seen.

Yet it wasn't the fact that there was a young woman (possibly Elizabeth's age or slightly younger) dressed in pirate dregs that caught Jack's eye. No, the reason why Jack spotted her was because she was the only one actually doing her work well. Too well. And taking over the jobs of all the other Jacks too. One moment, she was cleaning the deck until the wood shone, another moment and she was dancing from one rope to another, making sure the right ones were taut or loosened, and that the sails were just right, all by herself.

After a while, it actually got hard not to notice her because all the other Jacks had stopped their work to stare at her.

And just as Jack (the real Jack, probably) was about to scold her for her previous absence—because this was the kind of crew member he needed, not the useless half-wits he had gotten stuck with—the sails caught the wind (which Jack was pretty sure didn't exist before) and the ship actually _moved_.

There was a lurch, the kind of lurch that occurs when a ship finally becomes ungrounded, and then there was the unmistakable feeling of the ship leaving the sand and cutting through water the clean and strong way a good ship with a good bow would. Except… What water was there to cut through?

That got Jack hurrying across the starboard to peer over the sides of the ship. No water had miraculously appeared in the desert, but the sand was rippling in an odd manner and there was also something off about the ship's shadow.

It seemed like his imagination had gotten better at hallucinations.

"My apologies," said the girl-who-was-probably-not-another-Jack, though she didn't sound very sorry. She didn't look sorry either, judging by the bright smile on her face, but Jack wasn't very miffed by that—he'd done the same before, after all. "But I have been looking for a ship all day and when I found yours—you _are_ the Captain, right?—I just had to borrow it for a bit and I thought you wouldn't mind me helping you move your ship anyway."

Jack didn't need to ask why she was looking for a ship in the middle of this hellish Limbo of a place. He figured anyone else he met here would either have to be a hallucination or was as mad as him (or grow to be as mad as him after spending a stretch of time down here). So he did the only thing that made sense.

"Right you are! I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and welcome aboard the Black Pearl, missy. You won't find a finer ship in these parts! Now, be a good lass and help me find the sea."

* * *

Waking up in the middle of a desert that seemed to go on forever was not as weird a situation as one might think. Not when one was none other than the Fate-favoured rule-breaker known as Hadria Potter. Of course, it could all be a very weird dream from having too much Firewhiskey.

The thing was, she remembered driving a four-in-hand (drawn by Thestrals instead of ordinary horses, with a carriage equipped with Feather-light charms) to visit Gellert who had gone on a trip (without her!) to the Northern lands, hoping to surprise him and catch a sight of an aurora. Of course, she might have drunk a copious amount of Firewhiskey the night before, because everyone was celebrating Bulgaria's winning of the World Cup and Krum had treated them all to drinks, but Hadria was known to be able to hold her liquor.

She did not remember anything between that and waking up in this place, but that was fine. (Weirder things had happened before, such as that time when she got summoned into a universe where... Well, that was a story for another time).

After all, she wasn't experiencing any sort of hangover, and it appeared that she still had all her belongings with her, from the Invisibility Cloak to her still-half-drunk Jarvey. Which was definitely a good thing, because most messes she got into, she could get out of with only a wand in hand.

* * *

It turned out that she was not just stuck in any desert. It wasn't the Sahara nor the Gobi. Neither was it Tatooine (sure, it was a fictional place, but that didn't make it any less of an option) mainly because it didn't have two suns, and the lone sun that _did_ exist never seemed to set. And there were never any sandstorms… which might be due to a lack of wind in general.

But Hadria was undeterred. She had as much water to drink as she could conjure, and though she couldn't conjure food, she never seemed to ever grow hungry enough to consider turning Snag into a meal. She didn't actually ever grow thirsty either, but she liked to drink water when she could, all the same.

She concluded that she was not in a mortal realm soon after she realized her body didn't seem to require relieving itself of water even after the amount she had drunk. Neither Snag nor Noh seemed to express hunger either, and the latter had ceased nibbling on her when it realized (quite slowly) that it was only doing so out of habit. Not that it stopped Snag complaining about food, being food, or the lack of food.

Hadria tried summoning a scorpion once, because deserts were supposed to have those, right? And she'd tried fried scorpions in China once, they tasted like prawns. But no scorpion came flying towards her. She also tried conjuring a snake (which was more like a summoning spell than a true conjuration) but no snake came forth. Which pretty much meant that she was in a continent where snakes did not exist.

She also tried using the mirror that Sirius gave her, but the surface of the mirror simply turned cloudy and never cleared away to reveal the person on the other side, which was the magical equivalent of having no reception.

So, Hadria was probably no longer on Earth.

Forty-eight hours after that revelation, Hadria gave up trying to find a way home and simply killed herself.

* * *

Avada Kedavra was probably the best suicide option, particularly when one wanted to return back to the living in a perfectly intact body. And it was also painless… Most of the time. Unless one was an Idiot of a Dark Lord whose soul was so fractured and tiny that one hit of the AK would incinerate one's Dark-magic-abused body.

And Hadria was not said Idiot. Being the Master of Death, Hadria had found that AK was the easiest way to find the Higher Entities and get help from them. Especially after Fate began diverting her calls (prayers) to a host of Fwoopers such that any twittering replies heard by mortal worshippers who listened too intently made them go mad.

But Hadria woke up, lying in the middle of a desert, with Snag sleeping on her face. And it was the first time she had risen from the dead with no experience in between. Just a state of unconsciousness, and then a state of awareness.

Had the way to Limbo, the Land Between Worlds, been blocked?

Bloody hell.

* * *

Another thirty-six hours later, Hadria met another life-form for the first time. It was a half-deranged man with way too many guns, most definitely a Muggle, and dressed like an old-fashioned pirate. Somehow, it ended up with Snag getting shot through, the Muggle getting eaten up by Noh, and Hadria vowing to find a way to the afterlife to get Snag back from the dead.

Except that she didn't need to.

The Jarvey came back to life shortly after the bullet was pulled out and the wound closed up like magic. Magic that Hadria most certainly had not performed. Magic that Hadria knew that the Jarvey did not possess either.

Which led Hadria to finally realize that the reason why she couldn't get to Limbo was because she was already in a version of Limbo.

Except that this was possibly the worst-designed Limbo she had ever seen.

The Limbo she knew was a train station, with a train that would come to pick up the souls of the dead and bring them to their designated afterlife. But Hadria also knew that there were other versions of Limbo around, such as a dark gloomy plain with a river that would lead into the mountains and down underground into the Underworld where some souls stayed for a time until they got relocated (by the same river) to the main Hells or Havens.

But this one, this Limbo… This one was a desert. An endless desert with no other landmarks like ports, harbours, or stations, and no other inhabitants except lost souls. No Ferryman or Ferrywoman had visited in all the days that Hadria had spent there either.

And Hadria couldn't remember which country she had been flying over that fateful night, so she couldn't figure out which Limbo she was in, though she had never heard of one that was a desert before… Well, she did, in a fictional series, but never mind the fact that it was fiction, the description of that desert did not match this one.

Which meant that Hadria Potter was, for once, stuck in a mess she could see no way out of.

* * *

Somewhere else, in a Realm where time was a tangled ball of string played by a dragon-masked Higher Entity that occasionally took the form of a kitten for reasons unknown to his colleagues, Death sat back and smirked behind his mask.

He had wondered how to solve his Davy Jones problem, and now, his solution was finally in place.

The Davy Jones problem was an unfortunate one, the third in a series of other problems he's had with his lately rebellious psychopomps.

First, Hel had gone AWOL to the one of the human worlds the Norse called Midgard (there were, now, in fact, many 'Midgards', considering the whole alternate universe thing the Entities had been playing around with).

Then, Charon had been reported to be missing in action (no one knows if he's been kidnapped or not, and when found, he wouldn't say) along with Hades' pet Cerberus. Some witnesses claim that he had left on his own accord. The poor soul who had been saddled with Charon's role as Ferryman was particularly vocal about this, and had complained very loudly about how it had taken him seven capsizes into the bloody Styx before he figured out how to even row the boat.

But after Death sorted those out, mainly by sending dementors after his errant employees (who were actually paid with the only currency of those beyond death: opportunities to travel between worlds and visitation rights to any Realm whenever there weren't any plagues or wars that would result in overtime work… in other words, once every decade or two), a third problem arose with his newest employee, a once-mortal man recruited by Calypso some millennia ago to be the Ferryman of those who died at sea, since all the other Ferryman mainly dealt with those who died upon the lands they were allocated to.

That, Death thought, was the problem with deities having love affairs with mortal humans. Things almost always got messy, and who were the ones who had to clean up these messes? Death. (All the Higher Entities were supposed to help out, but it was mainly Death who did most of the work, because he was, well, Death).

And this mess was particularly troublesome because Davy Jones had become very much Dementor-like. Instead of Ferrying souls, he was stealing them for himself (and even Death's Dementors would spit back out the souls when ordered to), recruiting them to join his undead crew, and Death couldn't just send his Dementors out for them because none of these rag-tag undead pirates were truly immortal, unlike his other deity employees. They had souls so corrupted by their cursed fate that his Dementors refused to approach them. Sending a Grim wouldn't work either, mainly because one couldn't send a Grim after those who weren't truly living anymore.

That left him with two options: One, hunting down Davy Jones himself and dragging him to Court for Judgement. Two, letting his 'Master' handle it.

Now usually, Death wouldn't bother the Girl-Who-Never-Dies, because she was currently enjoying a wonderful life in the Land of the Living with new relationships and everything, but she had been particularly annoying lately, even though that brat knew he was having a bad week. He'd swear that Fate had put the brat up to it (who else would think of replacing every one of his robes with those atrociously-coloured pieces of cloth that should never been worn?), but he had no evidence. And it wasn't like he could do anything to Fate anyway.

Well, Death never said he was above petty things like a bit of revenge. And anyway, this would help him kill two birds with one stone.

So Hadria Potter was now stuck in Davy Jones' locker, in another universe, a few centuries in the past.

* * *

"So, how did you end up here, Captain?" Hadria asked, once she'd been given the permission to charm the ship to do all its manning by itself. It had taken some convincing on her part, because the pirate had been rather reluctant letting her do anything abnormal to his precious ship. He'd taken the idea of her having magic surprisingly well, though.

Then again, he was the Captain of a crewless ship in the middle of Davy Jones' Locker and seemed rather prone to hallucinations. She'd seen him talking to the air, addressing a good number of other invisible people who were all supposedly versions of himself. It was entirely possible (and probable) that the Captain still believed her to be a hallucination too, and Hadria saw no reason to correct him.

"Ah," said Jack. "That'd be quite a tale, lassie. Tell me, have you heard of Davy Jones and the Flying Dutchman?"

* * *

Hadria wanted to meet the Kraken. It sounded like a magnificent creature, though it was a pity it was currently under the control of a rogue Ferryman. The Ferryman she had been searching for to bring her out of his Locker.

Which meant that Hadria had to take things into her own hands.

"Captain," she said, turning to Jack. "How would you feel about a Flying Black Pearl?"

Jack gave her a weird look, as if she were a gigantic sea-monkey. Then his eyes flitted around the ship, taking in everything she was already doing magically, his mouth still turned down comically.

"I've never seen the Pearl fly before," was all he said in return. So Hadria made the Pearl fly. (It wasn't that hard, really, especially since they were in a land where physics and other rules of a mortal world didn't apply).

* * *

It should be said that it took Hadria a whole week before she realized the reason the Locker was a desert was because it was one of Jack's worst fear.

Then it took her another day to realize that the Locker was like a Boggart of a Limbo that changed according to one's worst fear, and that the reason Hadria was also in the same desert as Jack was because that was the only fear the Locker could get out of her at the time… which wasn't really a fear, and more like a concern that she wouldn't be able to get herself un-stuck from the trouble she had ended up in. So of course, it would be a barren wasteland between worlds that she had no way of Ferrying herself out of.

Flying a ship that could not sail, the Black Pearl it may be, did not help and Jack had no idea which way the exit could be either.

* * *

Jack was the first to catch sight of his crew standing upon a beach. (Water! Seawater!) The Pearl was now gliding a few inches off the ground, cruising lazily as the witch-girl took a nap.

"Mr Gibbs!" He called, swinging off the ship to land in his usual drunken manner in front of his first mate.

"Aye Captain," was the automatic response. Jack felt like raising his eyebrows. He did.

"I thought so," he said. "I expect you can account for your actions then?"

"Sir?" replied Mr Gibbs, evidently bemused about Jack's accusation. Jack wondered if he should bother lecturing his first mate about leaving the handling of the ship to a witch-girl. After all, said witch-girl was very helpful and efficient and was pretty much the equivalent of an entire crew and more on her own.

"Where have you been, Mr Gibbs?" Jack demanded instead.

"You're in Davy Jones' Locker, sir."

Jack huffed. "I know that. I know where I am. The question is: where were _you_?"

"Jack Sparrow," interrupted an annoyingly familiar voice.

Jack sighed again and turned. "Hector." Of course, he'd turn up in his hallucinations as well. Just when he thought they were finally getting better, what with the recent addition of Hadria and her ability to dismiss all the other Jacks from the ship, as if she were an exorcist banishing ghosts.

And there was also the only other witch he knew.

"Say, Tia Dalma, have you met the strange lass Hydra? She's about as creepy as you, but in a different way." He gave the soothsayer a second look-over. "Actually, I don't think the two of you should ever meet. Now away with all of you! This delirium is bad enough as it is without adding—"

Jack swallowed, spotting Elizabeth Swan, the indirect cause of his death. That girl was a vicious one. Perhaps he should wake Hadria and let _her_ deal with this.

* * *

Hadria woke in time to hear Jack say, "Seeing as I possess a ship, and you don't, it seems as though you're the ones in need of rescuing and I'm not sure I'm in the mood."

Then she scrambled out of the cabin, across the main deck and peered over the sides. It appeared that they had finally reached a shore, the ship was at last where it belonged—in the ocean—and there stood Jack Sparrow in the sand, in front of his crew. Most of them were men, but there were two women, a young blonde, and a dark-skinned… _Was that Calypso?_

"Jack," said a young man. "Cutler Beckett has the heart of Davy Jones. He controls the Flying Dutchman."

But then, the sea-deity-in-disguise could wait.

"Who's Cutler Beckett?" Hadria asked, jumping off the ship.

"He's taking over the seas," the young blonde woman added, ignoring Hadria. In fact, none of them so much as blinked at her sudden appearance, except for Jack and probably-Calypso.

"No, seriously, who's this Beckett and how in Merlin's name did he get hold of Davy Jones' heart?"

"Uh…" began Jack, looking from her to his crew.

"The song has already been sung. The Brethren Court is called," said probably-Calypso. Her dark eyes were on Hadria, though she did not address her question.

Hadria, who was starting to get an idea of what was happening, waved a hand in front of the nearest pirate, a bearded middle-aged man wearing a large hat and looked like he should be leading his own crew.

Jack, in the middle of lamenting the state of a world without him, choked when she began sticking her tongue out and blowing raspberries at the other members of the crew.

"Jack?" a portly man in a torn and tattered uniform questioned.

"You need a crew," prompted the young man from earlier. Evidently, Jack's crew had grown quite capable of dismissing their captain's strange behaviour. Hadria liked to think that her old friends back in the Wizarding World had also gotten somewhat used to her, though she still made it a habit of keeping them on their toes once in a while. Like disappearing on a holiday to the Limbo at the bottom of the ocean.

"Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past, and one of you succeeded."

Hadria laughed even as the young man gave the blonde woman—who was likely Elizabeth, the one who tricked Jack into sacrificing himself—a strange look. Which meant that the young man had to be Will, the woman's fiancé.

After gleefully telling Will and Elizabeth that they had much to discuss, Jack admitted the deity(?) into the crew, and began nit-picking at the others. Hadria learned more names, including the fact that a whole bunch of them—the ones who looked Asian—were actually part of a different crew and…

"Good. All hands on deck. Hydra, prepare to make sail."

It was satisfying to watch them turn to each other, mouthing 'Hydra,' even as she commanded the ship to release the ropes for the crew to climb up.

"Who's Hydra?" the portly man—Mr Gibbs, first mate—finally asked. Jack gave Hadria a look and decided to ignore the question, leaving probably-Calypso to answer, "The girl."

Everyone turned to Elizabeth, who look bewildered, and probably-Calypso sighed, "The other girl. The one you cannot hear or see."

Which sounded really ominous, and probably scared the life out of some of the crew, but Hadria was not complaining. In fact, she chuckled a good deal while Jack's face kept twitching.

They'd set sail for some time, with Hadria doing all the work, and the crew gaping wide-eyed at the magic-driven ship, before Jack came over to where she was leaning over Barbossa's shoulder.

"You're not a hallucination, are you?"

This made Barbossa jump. Hadria laughed and patted Barbossa on the back.

"Nay, Captain. But you could ask… um… the sea-witch. Then come back and tell me what she said."

And Jack raised an eyebrow at her patting Barbossa before he hurried away while Barbossa stared at his shoulder which was apparently being hit by something invisible.

* * *

"You are not meant to be here," said Calypso.

Hadria gave her an exaggerated once-over before raising her brows at the sea. "Well, neither are you."

Calypso grimaced. "At least, I am part of this world. I sense, however, you are not. What are you?"

The other witch did not answer, merely smiled and for a moment, her green eyes flashed gold, causing Calypso to gasp.

"Oh," she says, and said nothing more on the topic. Her eyes went to the lightning-shaped mark on Hadria's forehead, before she pursed her lips and left. Hadria thought it looked like a tactical retreat.

* * *

There was a flash of green light, and the Black Pearl returned to the Land of the Living, along with all its crew. The Witch of the Locker did not return with them.

Last Jack and Calypso saw her, for they were the only ones who could actually see her, she was leaning over the edge, staring down at the passing souls. One moment, she was there, turning back to look at them, green eyes glowing eerily in the gloom, and the next moment there was only wind and the cries of Elizabeth shouting for her father as he drifted away.

There was no splash of water to indicate the descent of a body into the waves and when Jack turned, bewildered, to look onto Calypso for help, she simply shook her head.

"I do not know her, Jack."

* * *

She reappeared like she's been there all along.

In truth, Hadria had merely left to interrogate a few souls on the current affairs of the world. Some of them were officers, others were sailors and pirates. Then Hadria followed the stream of souls to the source, riding above the waves on her faithful Lethifold, until she reached crystalline waters so still that it reflected the flaming sunset, like the salt flats of Bolivia, water and sky blended into one unending painting, unbroken save for the emergence of new souls from the depths of the ocean.

And it dawned on Hadria, who, in one swift motion, tilted the boat, and went under.

By the time Hadria found her way back to the Black Pearl that was no longer flying, Jack wasn't there, and there appeared to be a disagreement between the Chinese pirates and Jack's crew, minus Jack.

"You agreed, the Black Pearl was to be mine," said Will Turner, which made Hadria revaluate the situation. Jack was missing, there was a man in uniform on board, a Chinese pirate was arguing with Will over the ownership of the ship… which was now apparently Lord Beckett's. And everyone else not involved in the heated argument was staring at her as she stood in their midst, apparently visible now that they were no longer in the Locker of Limbo.

"You have returned," said Calypso, sounding somewhat miffed. Hadria shrugged.

"Need any help?"

It took a few more seconds of staring and blinking before Jack's crew realized they were looking at the Witch they previously could not see.

"It's a bit of a mess now, my lady," said Gibbs, the first to recover and respond, a testament to his experience with Jack and all things related. "Help would be good, but what kind of help? We don't know."

"Unless you could… maybe magic us all away?" suggested the skinny pirate with the problem eye as he waved his hands, looking like if she so much as breathed too hard in his direction, he'd just keel over and faint.

"Back!" chirped the parrot. Then, louder, "Death is back!"

And then there was silence. Barbossa and the Chinese pirate (captain?) stared. It appeared the parrot had interrupted something, but Hadria did not know what.

"You!" Barbossa exclaimed, apparently recognizing her, though she did not recognize him. "You should not be here!"

Hadria decided to twirl, Noh flaring and billowing as she did so, and ended her spin with a curtsy. "Yet, here I am." Which left Barbossa gaping at her cloak as if he could see its jagged maw.

"Oh," said Calypso, and like the last time, said no more. But it seemed like she knew why Barbossa recognized her.

"Who is she?" the Chinese pirate asked. Nobody answered.

"Who is he?" Hadria whispered to Gibbs, who replied, "He'd be the Pirate Lord of the South China Sea, the Captain Sao Feng. Tai Huang is his second-in-command."

Hadria turned to the Chinese captain. "Well, Sao Feng, you may call me Hydra."

"The nine-headed dragon of the west?" Sao Feng smirked, and turned to Barbossa. "You require my Piece of Eight. What are you proposing in return for it, Captain?"

"Aye," said Barbossa suspiciously. "What be accepted, Captain?"

"The girl," said Sao Feng.

Hadria looked over to Elizabeth, then back at Sao Feng. There was something discomforting about the idea of a pirate like Sao Feng requesting for a young and pretty blonde. Elizabeth seemed to have thought the same thing, for she said, "Which girl?"

And Hadria blinked. "I'm not a girl!" she protested on instinct, which made everyone stare. But before she could amend her statement—she was a lady, a witch, Master of Death and a great deal of many other things but she wasn't going to be _Sao Feng's_ girl.

"No," agreed Sao Feng. "You are more."

Hadria stepped backwards and bumped right into Mr Cotton, whose parrot began squawking, "Chosen! Chosen!"

"Out of the question," Barbossa retorted, eyes flicking between them.

"It was not a question," said Sao Feng.

Elizabeth elbowed Hadria. "You offered your help, here's your chance to free us from this nonsense."

"Alright, but let's get some things straight," Hadria crossed her arms. "First, I am not Barbossa's to give as I am not part of his crew. I am here on my own accord."

"Of course," Sao Feng concurred easily. Too easily. "It is your choice to join me or reject my offer."

"If I leave with you, you will free Jack Sparrow's crew and…?" Hadria looked to Barbossa, who reluctantly added, "… heed the call for the Brethren Court and return his Piece of Eight."

"Yes," said Sao Feng and Hadria strode forward and shook his hand. "Then it's a deal!"

And Hadria left with Sao Feng, looking back to the Pearl just in time to see Jack return to the Pearl in a dramatic entrance that involved destroying part of another ship.

* * *

It turned out that Sao Feng wanted Hadria for an altogether different reason than what she had imagined. He didn't want a pretty girl to admire or entertain him. He wanted Calypso, the sea goddess, whom Hadria was most certainly not.

"Not the name you fancy, I imagine, out of the many that you have. But it is what we call you," said Sao Feng, when Hadria tried to tell him once more, that he could call her Hydra, should call her Hydra, not Calypso.

"We," Hadria repeated dryly. She was pretty sure everyone else who knew her did not call her 'Calypso.'

"You confirm it."

Hadria was sure she did not confirm anything. "No, you assume that I'm Calypso, yet refuse to respect me by using my chosen name."

"Apologies… Hydra," said Sao Feng. "But…"

She sighed, wondering to herself how she even managed to get into this sort of mess.

Sao Feng stared at her and she realized she had said it aloud.

"The Brethren Court, not I, the first Brethren Court, whose position I would have opposed, bound you to human form, so the rule of the seas would belong to men and not..." Sao Feng tried to explain, which really wasn't the explanation she was seeking.

"Not me," Hadria finished anyway, hoping Calypso wouldn't mind it too much if she just went along and pretended to be a sea goddess in her place. It didn't sound half bad, being a sea goddess, as long as Calypso didn't become even more annoyed than she already was at her presence.

"One such as you should never be anything less than what you are," Sao Feng went on reverently, completely oblivious to Hadria's plight. Hadria just thought that it would be great if someone, preferably a Higher Entity, could tell her exactly how much she was supposed to be, because getting mistaken as a goddess in another universe was something new. It was like getting chosen for a job she did not apply for and no one would tell her just what the position entailed, how much privileges or responsibilities she'd get, and she just had to learn on the job.

"What exactly, do you gain, by freeing… me?" Hadria finally asked. "You said so yourself, men wish to rule the seas… And you think of yourself as an exception?"

"All men are drawn to the sea, perilous as it may be," said Sao Feng. "And I simply wish the sea untamed, as it should be. There is something beautiful about the sea when it is wild and free. In freeing you, I hope to gain... your favour, if you should choose to give it."

Favour! From a witch, chosen champion of the Higher Entities? Though he did not know it.

"And if I should choose not to?" Hadria could not help but ask.

"Then I will take your fury!" Sao Feng declared. Hadria almost laughed. And she did laugh as she ducked, when he attempted to kiss her.

"Honestly—" Hadria began, but was interrupted by the appearance of a cannonball. "—Bloody hell!"

"Here… Please," Sao Feng said, gasping past the sharp piece of wood skewering him, giving Hadria his Piece of Eight, a necklace. "With all nine pieces of eight, you will be free. Take it! You are captain now. Go in my place to Shipwreck Cove."

"Me?" Hadria exclaimed just as Tai Huang burst into the room. This was getting out of hand.

"Forgive me, Caly—Hydra," whispered Sao Feng, and Hadria saw his soul leave the body.

And that was how Hadria became the Captain of the Empress and Pirate Lord of the South China Sea.

Well, actually, it involved an encounter with Davy Jones himself, who was a lot more hideous in person, and getting imprisoned with the Chinese crew, her Chinese crew, in the brig of the Flying Dutchman which could not actually fly.

* * *

Freeing herself wasn't a problem—a simple _Alohomora_ took care of it—and it had the added benefit of garnering more respect from her new crew.

"Do you think this undead crew can see through camouflaging spells?" she asked Tai Huang who stared at her like she had grown another eight more heads.

"Who are you?" asked one of the other crew members.

"Your captain," was Hadria's reply as she took out her wand. She wasn't going to try Disillusioning an entire pirate crew wandlessly. "You can ask more questions later. For now, we've got an escape to execute!"

And she led them onto the deck, right past all the cursed crew, towards their ship (their ship! She had a ship!) Only one of them, a part-shark pirate, appeared to smell something different as they slipped past. But by the time they realized something was wrong (in the form of one of the other barnacle-y crew members announcing that the prisoners had escaped), Hadria and her crew had left the ship.

Once they were all safely onboard the Empress, Hadria turned and saluted to a really pissed-off Davy Jones.

"Think he'll appreciate seeing his pet again?"

Probably-Tai-Huang (for he was still invisible) sighed, "What are you talking about this time?"

In answer, Hadria grinned and whistled. It was a terrible unearthly sound that one might associate with haunted places.

Gigantic tentacles burst out of the sea from below the Dutchman and tossed the ship like a toy, sending it flying for a moment before it landed back into the water with an almighty splash that was more like a mini tsunami.

" _Zhe shi shenme gui_?!"

Hadria laughed. "That is, quite literally, a ghost. It's a good thing ghosts can become corporeal in this world."

"I don't want to know," said Probably-Tai-Huang and she heard his boots stomping across the deck.

Meanwhile, Jack Sparrow was leaning over the sides of his ship, watching Will leave, knowing he will soon have to go back inside and deal with one irate Elizabeth Swan, hoping Hydra would return soon because… well, she was a bloody witch who was a lot more helpful and less creepy than Tia Dalma, and he couldn't believe he had so narrowly missed her return.

* * *

Being a pirate captain was fun, Hadria decided, when it came to giving orders and having crew members obediently following them. She couldn't wait to get back to her own world to tell them all about her adventures… Even though she didn't really know what she was doing and was half the time trying to remember what Jack did as captain. Whatever she was lost in, she made up with magic, which greatly unnerved a substantial number of the crew. Snag was no help at all, because the only thing he knew about pirate slang was a whole bunch of vulgarities, and the crew didn't take very kindly to the rude talking overgrown ferret either.

And of course, Hadria's disregard for problems that can be solved by magic led them straight into a storm.

" _Fengbao qianjin, feng cang_!" Tai Huang ordered when it became clear that Hadria had no idea what orders to give when encountering harsh weather at sea.

" _Feng cang_?" Hadria repeated, for her limited knowledge of the Chinese language did not extend to nautical terms.

"Seal the hatches," translated another pirate, while Tai Huang just glared at her.

"You may have… magic, but you're a terrible captain," he said.

"This is the straightest route!"

"With the storm, it is also the longest one. We're late as it is."

Hadria huffed. "I have magic." A few pirates groaned and Tai Huang actually hid his face in his hands.

Hadria grinned and closed her eyes, then, with a few complicated waves of her wand, the sails shifted, caught the wind, and the ship picked up speed. And without much warning, water surrounded them and they were soon under the sea, a bubble of air around the entire ship. This much she had picked up the one time she managed to hitch a ride on the Durmstrang ship. It had really been Hermione who had managed to get Victor to divulge the secrets of their enchanted traveling method, however.

"This is a nightmare," Tai Huang lamented as a huge eel swam past the ship.

"Shush, I'm concentrating," said Hadria, her eyes still closed. Then she reached out her hands, and _pulled_.

There was a sound, like the sharp off-key note of a woodwind played wrong, and everything tunneled into a swirling vortex of water.

* * *

Outside Shipwreck Cove, where the fourth Brethren Court was convening, there was a huge roaring, like the thundering of a wave of water.

"What was that?" Villanueva asked. Barbossa looked grim, as if he had a strong feeling he knew what that was.

"Sao Feng, perhaps?" Jack suggested, fiddling with his Piece of Eight.

"Her," spat Barbossa.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Her?" Then he spotted Hadria striding in, soaking wet. "Her!"

"Me?" she questioned even as her clothes began to dry faster than normal clothes had a right to. A crew of Chinese pirates followed after her, shaking their wet clothes which were also drying fast.

"Who are you?" Mistress Cheng demanded.

"Hydra," said Jack, at the same time as Barbossa who said, "Death."

Said girl frowned. "I'm not Death."

"You look like she."

"And what are you doing here?" Villanueva asked, ignoring Barbossa.

"Oh," said Hadria, and laughed sheepishly. "I'm Sao Feng's replacement. He died when the Flying Dutchman attacked us."

"So, you're captain now?" Jack laughed. "Fancy that! My witch, a Pirate Lord of the South China Sea!"

Hadria coughed. "With all due respect, Captain, I'm not _your_ witch."

"Really?" Barbossa mumbled to himself.

"Well, now that we're all here," huffed Villanueva, and was interrupted by Hadria yelling 'Wait!'

"What is it now?"

"Um, the East India Trading Company and Davy Jones—they're in cahoots!"

"Pardon?"

"And they're coming here! I don't know who gave them the location, but someone did."

"A traitor?"

"Probably someone not among us."

Hadria surveyed the room of pirates, noticing that some of Jack's 'crew' were missing.

"Where's Elizabeth?" she asked.

Jack shrugged, "In the brigs."

"And where's Will?"

A pause. "Not among us."

"It matters not," Barbossa interrupted. "The question is, what do we do now that they've found us?"

* * *

"So… this is pirate politics, then?" Hadria said to Jack as all the pirates in the room shot suggestions at each other like they would bullets, though most of them were threats mixed with plenty of insults.

"Aye," said Jack. "You know, you never told me how you returned."

Hadria grinned. "I never did tell you how I came to find you in the Locker either."

"I recall asking… And you replying it was a witch's business."

"And there you have your answer!"

A gunshot rang out and a ringing silence followed.

"It was the first court what imprisoned Calypso," said Barbossa, for it was he who had fired. "And we will be the ones to set her free, and in her gratitude, she will see fit to grant us boons."

Jack scoffed. "You'll have better luck asking Captain Hydra here for boons. We could release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful. I rather doubt it. Can we in fact pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury hell hath no? We cannot. Neither can we stay here and wait for Ol' Squidman to slice us down. Because him and his fishy undead friends can certainly outlast us in a siege."

"You would have us fight, when you only ever run from one," Barbossa retorted.

"No," said Jack. "I would have Hydra help us."

"I'm already helping you," said Hadria. "Though I see no harm in trying to gain favour from Calypso. Barbossa's right. _We_ weren't the ones who bound her, after all."

"Traitor!" Jack moaned. "The sea is wild and unpredictable but her wrath is certain. I doubt she'll care we're not our predecessors."

"So, you expect me to help you win a fight against the EITC Armanda and the Flying Dutchman."

"No, no, not fight to win," said Jack. "Fight to run away for that is the oldest and noblest of pirate traditions."

It sounded so Slytherin that Hadria laughed.

* * *

There was a pirate called Captain Teague, Keeper of the Code, and…

"He looks like you," Hadria observed. Jack chuckled nervously. "That's Dad."

'Dad?' Hadria mouthed to herself. She wasn't sure why she was surprised, but she somehow couldn't imagine an entire family of pirates like Jack Sparrow, though Captain Teague did seem a lot more serious than Jack was.

"I call for a vote," said Jack, despite the fact that it was unlikely for the elections to amount to anything.

Indeed, every Pirate Lord present voted themselves. Hadria thought it was ridiculous, and considering who she was, it certainly said something.

"Who should I vote for?" Hadria mused, and got a weird look from Tai Huang.

"Who would you call Captain over yourself?" he asked incredulously. It was supposed to be a rhetorical question.

"Jack Sparrow," Jack said, throwing himself a vote after Villanueva voted for herself.

" _Captain_ Jack Sparrow," Hadria corrected with a smirk.

"Stupid question," Tai Huang grumbled. "Stupid Captain."

Several pirates gaped at her.

"Was that your vote?" Jocard demanded while Barbossa looked like he had swallowed one of Dumbledore's sherbet lemons.

"Was what my vote?" said Hadria, blinking owlishly.

"Who do you vote for?" said Barbossa, instead of rising to her bait.

"Ah, why, Captain, of course," Hadria replied serenely.

"Captain who?" someone else shouted.

"This is madness," one of Hadria's crew muttered. She heard Tai Huang reply, "You would go against her decision?" To which another man lamented, "I wish our Captain weren't a witch."

"You meant me? Right? Captain Ammand?"

"Vote for me! It's Capitan Chevalle!"

"Captain Jack Sparrow," Jack said, sounding slightly dazed. Hadria patted him on the back.

"Make that Pirate King Jack Sparrow!"

"The world has ended," Barbossa declared. It was a sentiment shared by all the pirates who knew of Jack Sparrow's habits, behaviours, and misadventures. Which basically meant every pirate there with the exception of Jack himself and Hadria, who wasn't really a pirate.

"But the Code has to be kept," said Captain Teague.

"Very well," said Mistress Cheng. "What say you, Captain Sparrow, king of the Brethren Court?"

* * *

"You must admit, he's a better pirate than I am," Hadria said to Tai Huang when they were back aboard the Empress. Tai Huang merely glared sullenly at the mist beyond.

* * *

"How 'bout this, eh? You return us the tool, who will return dear William to his sweetheart, and I'll come with you to settle the debt"

"Done," said Will immediately. The promptness of his reply made Hadria wonder…

"What?" Barbossa protested.

"Done," said Beckett, ignoring the other pirate.

"You can't do this, Jack! You're—"

"King," Jack finished smugly, and tossed his Piece of Eight to Hydra who caught it. "I hereby appoint Hydra as my second-in-command, so you lot will be in good hands. No worries."

Barbossa floundered, while Hadria facepalmed. She was definitely telling her friends about Jack when she returned.

* * *

Jack was pleased that it was all going according to plan, as Other-Jack-Number-One had stated. However, he was also stuck in the brigs with what appeared to be versions of himself. He was hallucinating, again.

"Go away," he told them, but of course, they did not listen. Jacks were stubborn like that.

"Stab the heart, and live forever, as captain of the Flying Dutchman," said Other-Jack-Number-Three.

Jack, the real one, could only sigh and wish he had someone to banish these hallucinations away. They were rather pesky.

"Then again, if we're in the brig, who's to stab the heart?"

"It does put immortality a bit out of reach," Other-Jack-Number-Two observed.

"You're here because you want to be the next Ferryman?"

Speak of the Devil and the Devil will arrive, or so the saying goes.

"How did you get in here?" Jack demanded, staring at the witch opposite him. Said witch had appeared with a sound not unlike a hiccup. "Or are you a hallucination too?"

"Magic," Hadria said in reply. "I left the Brethren with Tai Huang, but I have a feeling that Barbossa's going to release Calypso no matter what anyone says."

"Then why are you here?"

"To get you out of course," said Hadria. " _Alohomora_. Now we follow the stench."

"What stench?" asked Jack, sniffing the air. Everything just smelled salty and fishy.

"The stench of a hairy heart."

* * *

"His heart ain't hairy, Hydra," said Jack as they bounded up to the deck.

"Figuratively, it is," said Hadria. "Why aren't we stabbing the thing yet?"

"Good question."

"By the way, just hypothetically speaking, could a Kraken wipe out an entire Armanda?"

"Provided it isn't under the control of Fishface and is immune to cannon fire, then I would say… yes."

"Oh good."

"… Hypothetically speaking, could a witch control a dead Kraken?"

"Control a dead Kraken, no. Befriend a ghost Kraken, yes."

"I need to see this."

* * *

There was a storm, and the storm passed. The last of tentacles made of moonlight and mist disappeared beneath the calming waters. There was probably an entire Armanda of souls drifting into Limbo that very moment.

"I can't undo the curse, but I can free their souls," Hadria told Will, when he asked about his father.

"I wouldn't mind that," said Bootstrap Bill.

"But won't I need a crew?" Jack demanded.

"Your job is to ferry souls now, Captain," said Hadria wryly. "Your ship is self-sailing, you're unlikely to get attacked by anyone and even if you are, you're undead now. Why would you need a crew?"

"Company?"

"Oh, well, let's have a raise of hands for those who want to pass on."

* * *

"This is goodbye, then?" Jack asked.

They were standing on the island Jack had chosen for burying his heart. The Flying Dutchman was anchored nearby, and ownership of the Black Pearl had gone to Barbossa. The Empress had just left with Tai Huang as its new captain.

"How are you leaving?"

"By performing an arcane ritual that involves my blood and probably Dark magic to summon a hellhound."

Jack leaned backwards and surveyed her expression doubtfully. "You're telling the truth."

"Of course, I am."

"Did I ever tell you you're the weirdest person I have ever met?"

Considering how Jack was familiar with both Davy Jones and Calypso… "I'll take that as a compliment," said Hadria. "And I could say the same of you."

"What's going to happen to your ghost Kraken?"

"Oh, I told him his new Captain was you."

"Bless my rum, I believe I will miss you dearly. You sure you can't stay, lassie?"

"Nope," said Hadria, already drawing rough sketch of the Deathly Hallows in the sand with her foot. She sliced a small cut in her palm with a conjured knife and let it drip onto the symbol. "Phone home."

There was an explosion of black smoke… and…

* * *

"That was an arcane ritual?" Jack muttered to himself as he stared at the empty spot where Hadria had been.

* * *

"What was that?" Scáth demanded as they tumbled out of a Veil.

"Well no one gave me a rule book or instruction manual," Hadria huffed, picking herself off the floor of the Department of Mysteries. "I had to make it up."

"I'm reporting this to Death," the Grim moaned.

Hadria casted a quick Time-check. "Yes, please do. But you'll have to excuse me, I've still got a former Dark Lord to visit."

* * *

It took all of one hour after Gellert had lit a merry fire and settled into a comfy armchair lined with pelts, that there was a knocking on the door of the log cabin he had rented. He wasn't sure what he had expected to see—Scáth the Grim, perhaps, except that said Grim wouldn't need to come through the door, but it certainly wasn't icy water flooding the snowy plains, stopping just shy of his doorstep, turning the originally white land into a dark sea sprinkled with reflected stars.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and turned.

"Hadria! Why in all the bloody Realms is there an ancient pirate ship at our door?!"

* * *

 ** _Finis._**

* * *

 _Terms (my own translation, which may be spotty because it's not my best language):_

 _Zhe shi shenme gui — Literally means 'What is this devilry', Chinese version of 'what the hell'_

 _Fengbao qianjin — Storm approaching_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!** **Feel free to PM me or leave a review with your comments or questions. You can literally ask me anything, and I will answer if it's not too much of a spoiler. (Also, did you know that I was searching for Jack's name under 'J', couldn't find it, then realised my mistake because he wasn't J. Sparrow or Jack S. but 'Capt. Jack Sparrow'? Meanwhile Barbossa's is just 'Hector B.' lol)**

 **Also, for those of you who use tumblr, quick question: would you follow my blog if it mainly focused on HP stuff, occasional nat geo kind of stuff (nature, myths, culture etc), and words/writings? Cuz my primary blog is full of all sorts of unrelated nonsense and I'm thinking of setting up a secondary blog that is less... messy... for those interested?**

 **Cheers,**

 **RA**


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